Darkest Before the Dawn
by a-bit-dolally
Summary: The story of Gilbert after the proposal in the orchard and leading to the eventual happy ending that we all know and love!
1. Chapter 1

This is going to be a short fanfic based on Gilbert's perspective after the proposal. Hope you enjoy! Keep an eye out for quotes from movies, songs and TV shows (maybe you'll recognise a few!)

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Gilbert walked back numbly from the orchard. He had been such a fool to misinterpret all those looks, all the blushes. Anne was right why did he have to go and spoil everything. On the way, back to where he was staying, he ran into Ronald Stuart.

"Whatever's the matter Blythe? Has somebody died?" he laughed, when Gilbert didn't join in he realised that something was indeed wrong and put a hand on the Gilbert's shoulder. "What's wrong? Is there anything I can do?"  
Gilbert shook his head and sighed, "It would be extremely helpful if you happened to have a time travel machine, but I don't suppose that you would have one just lying about."  
"I'm afraid not." Ronald replied, "I'll walk back with you of you want." He added. Gilbert shrugged, it didn't matter if anyone was with him or not. He wouldn't be doing much talking, "Do what you want, I won't be very good company if that's what you're looking for."  
Ronald looked at his friend and took pity on him, "I don't mind. Come on then."

They walked the entire way in silence, one not knowing what to say, and the other not wishing to say anything at all. Ronald walked Gilbert to his bedroom and gave him a pat on the back, "You know where to find me if you want to talk.".  
Gilbert didn't meet his friend's eyes but nodded. As Ronald left, he turned to look at Gilbert before he left. _The poor man looks absolutely distraught, he's a wreck_ , he thought to himself, _I wonder what has happened_.

Gilbert went straight to his bed, not bothering to change or even wash. He just lay atop of the blankets and faced the wall, his back to the world.

Ronald knocked on Gilbert's door. Two days had past it was approaching afternoon of the third and no one had seen him around, so he had decided to take matters into his own hands.  
"Are you in there?" he called, "People are worried about you Blythe."  
He heard footsteps coming towards the door and was greeted to the face of a sleep deprived and depressed young man.  
"Good God!" Ronald exclaimed as he went into the bedroom, "You need some light and fresh air in here. Have you eaten or drunk at all?" he asked as he yanked apart the curtains and opened the window. Gilbert remained silent and lay back down on his bed. Ronald stood over him, "Come one, you need eat something. Can I get you anything?"  
"I'm not hungry." Gilbert mumbled.  
"You'll starve yourself! You need to have at least some bread."  
"A human can go for more than three weeks with any food." Gilbert replied monotonously. His friend folded his arms, "Come on Gilbert, you need to get up. It won't do just staying in your room and wasting away." Gilbert put his pillow over his head,  
"What if I want to waste away?" he challenged. Ronald tore the pillow from his friend's grasp.  
"Well, I won't allow that. I'm giving you fifteen minutes before I come in with a bucket of cold water. You will get dressed, clean up and meet me. We are going to have a talk."  
Gilbert groaned, "Why can't I just stay in here. It's better that way. I won't be a burden or ruin anything."

 _Ruin anything, huh_ , Ronald thought, _now we're getting somewhere_.  
He pulled Gilbert to his feet, "Fifteen minutes." He repeated. Gilbert sighed in resignation, he wouldn't be winning this battle.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven," Ronald counted down, on the other side of the door, "six, five, four, thr-". Before he could get to one, Gilbert opened the door. He silently followed his friend outside and sat down next to him on a bench far away from everybody else, giving them some privacy from the others. Ronald presented him with a bag containing a bread and butter sandwich,  
"This was what I managed to cobble together," he said in a light tone, "I hope it's okay."  
Gilbert took the bag from Ronald but didn't open it, "Thank you." He said automatically, "I'll eat it later."  
He snorted, "Oh, no you will not! You will eat at least half of it, right here, right now."  
Gilbert rolled his eyes, "Okay, fine then." He pulled out the sandwich and tore off a piece of the bread and reluctantly nibbled on it. Ronald turned to fully face Gilbert,  
"Now, tell me, what is wrong? And do not say nothing because I can see plain as day that is not nothing."  
"Why should you care?" Gilbert said, sounding ruder than he had intended, "What I mean to say is, it is my problem to deal with." He added. Ronald scrutinised his friend.  
"Is it to do with a particular girl with red hair and whose name begins with an A by any chance."  
Gilbert just looked away. _Aha!_ Ronald thought, "What happened between the two of you? You used to be so close."  
Gilbert sighed, "I ruined everything between us. We can never be friends again." He said mournfully. Ronald pressed him further,  
"Well? What happened? Was it the night before last?"  
Gilbert was silent for a while before he finally spoke, barely above a whisper, "I-I proposed to her. She told me that she could never love me." He put his head in his hands "I can't believe I did something so stupid."  
Ronald was taken aback. Anne turned down a proposal from Gilbert? He was so confused, he thought that they did have an agreement between them. Everyone did.

Gilbert continued, "I know what you're going to tell me. You're going to say that I shouldn't carry on like this, that I should move on, give her up." He looked up at Ronald, "I've loved her for as long as I can remember, since we were kids. I can't have her but I can't give her up. Until I can do that, no one will stand a chance."

Ronald opened his mouth to say something but Gilbert interrupted, "It's not her fault, I was blind and delusional." Ronald didn't know what to say, he had never realised that Gilbert was in so deep. Anne had really cut Gilbert up and it hurt him to see his friend in such a state. He didn't know what to say so he simply said, "Can you keep eating your sandwich." He was about to joke and say, "I've put a lot of love into making it" but he knew that it wasn't the right thing to say and was absolutely not the right time. Suddenly, Gilbert caught sight of a very particular shade of red hair in the corner of his eye. He stood up and made brief eye contact with Anne. Unsure of how he would react if he stayed any longer, Gilbert decided to remove himself from the scene as seeing her only made the dreadful night come rushing back in such vivid detail, he felt as if his heart were about to break into a million fragments. Ronald rushed to his feet as Gilbert quickly walked away,  
"Hold up Blythe! Where are you going"

Anne was walking back to Patty's Place following her British literature lecture. Daydreaming about one day meeting her Fitzwilliam Darcy when she caught sight of the two boys quietly talking to each other. She couldn't help herself, she just had to know what they were talking about. _Phil is such a bad influence on me!_

But before she could even try to eavesdrop, Gilbert had gotten to his feet. Making only the briefest on glances, he then turned away and walked from her. His friend was oblivious to her and chased after Gilbert. He hadn't even acknowledged her! She turned her nose up, "How rude!" she exclaimed to herself.

"Gilbert! Why did you run off like that?" Ronald asked when he had caught up to him.  
"I saw her." Gilbert said miserably, "I'm going back to my room. I was better there, I'm better off alone." He knew he was going to fall apart and he'd prefer that the rest of the world wasn't there to see it.

Ronald groaned as he watched Gilbert walk back, "Back to square one again I suppose." He muttered as he followed the heartbroken Gilbert.

Finally back in the safety of his room, he locked the door behind him. He needed to be alone with his thoughts. He recalled someone once told him that they found that writing down things was a good way to express them if you didn't want to talk. He decided to give that a try. He sat down at his desk and began to write;

 _Anne,_  
 _I don't think that I can commence a letter like this by saying 'dear' now._ _Thank you for finally teaching me that some things are better off unsaid, it's easier to lie. Seeing you today made me realise that it is going to be a very long while until I can talk to you. When we finally became friends, I felt as if I were the happiest boy in the world. We came to Redmond as chums, but now I've discovered that it will be easier for the both of us to leave as strangers  
People will say that what was said are only words and that things will get easier with time. You and I both know that nothing is only words, and that is how hearts get hurt. It has been three days and in every silence, I can't stop hearing what you said to me in the orchard. I would give anything to be that tall, dark, mysterious and handsome hero who would whisk you off your feet to marry and live with him in a castle in Spain. I remember you told me that once. That you imagined yourself living in a great big castle. However, the truth is that I am just an ordinary man, just getting by and doing the best I can. To be honest, that has become a Herculean task. _

_Since you abandoned me, my whole world has crashed around me. I don't really know what to do with the time that I used to fill with spending it with you. I feel like a fool now, because I have just remembered that it was you who gave me the advice about writing things if they can't be said. It's funny how time goes rushing by, and all the little things we've left behind as we've grown up. It would appear our friendship has now been added to the list. I said that I loved you and you said goodbye, isn't it strange to think how much can change in just the blink of an eye. There won't be a single day that will go by where I won't wish for you, I can promise you that._

 _Everywhere I look I see you. My heart is aching and even though I have read it in books, I've seen it plays and shows, I still don't know a way to manage the pain.  
Knowing you, you would think it rather romantic to have a broken heart from a scorned lover. After all, I remember you being particularly sympathetic towards Mr. Darcy but there is no romance in it whatsoever. Thanks to you, I have now realised that in life, there is no love, no hope, no glory and especially no happy ending. The sooner you know that, the better. As Shakespeare once wrote, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women are merely players. Well, I'm playing the part of a lonely heart.  
Our lives are in the hands of a bitter, bitter man and now I've had to say goodbye to the world that I thought I lived in. When I told you that I loved you, I had honestly believed that you had felt the same way too. You've taken all of who I used to be away from me._

 _Please tell me how to breathe because losing you is choking me. You took the light and left me in the dark, you left me with a broken heart. Now I'm on my own. I used to believe that you were the one for me, well, at least for the man that I used to be. You taught me to see the bitter truth about me and you. You know, last night, I managed to get a couple of hours' sleep. I had a dream that I was watching two kids playing in Avonlea. They were children we once knew. Anyway, they were walking around and talking together, laughing, without a care in the world. I saw light inside their eyes. But then there came arguing, slamming doors and closing windows, shutting each other out. They went their separate ways and I felt my heart die. The children were us Anne, they were you and me. Do you think that they're still out there, within us? I wish I could go back to the start, that I were able to travel back in time, back to that night. I was hoping that I could make my dreams last, but it was useless because they come so slow yet go so fast. I knew that I loved you but only did I realise how much until I had to let you go. It seems that we'll have to go back to the way that we were.  
Before we were us, and before I was me. I'll have to go back to the way that I was before I was happier than I had ever been. It would seem that we've ended things as they began, but I suppose that's the way it has to be. How far away those jubilant nights we once knew feel. I can only blame myself. Hopefully everything that has happened between us will soon be erased, and then without you, I can try to move on. Well, at least try to learn to live again. It's been only a few days since we were friends and I would give anything to sit on a bench with you, even for just five minutes, with it being tense or awkward. Just five minutes to watch the sunset, to watch strangers go by, to hear your laugh, to talk about the old times. But you're not here with me, and I doubt you will ever be again. Those days have forever gone away. I miss you, but I promise that I won't say a word. I know that it will just make you uneasy._

Gilbert stopped writing, he had nothing more to say for the moment. His hand was shaking had tears were welling up in his eyes, making it hard for him to write. Writing letters to Anne would be a good way to let out his feelings. He never understood keeping journals, writing to a book as if they were a real person. At least with this, he could imagine Anne reading the letters. He daren't send it, but all the same. Tonight, Gilbert started to feel the emotional exhaustion creeping up on him. Putting away his pens and folding up the letter, he finally noticed some letters from home had been put on his desk. _I'll read them tomorrow_ , he reasoned.

A few months had passed and Gilbert was beginning to build up his life again. It was a painfully slow process but he was learning to live again. He had received a letter from his mother that, even in the darkest of days, which were still many, he would read the letter and try to find comfort in it. On this particular day, it seemed as if things were never going to get better. For the past few days, Gilbert had felt as if there were a grey cloud over him. He knew that the sun was there, but because of the cloud, he could never feel its warmth, experience its light, sometimes he even struggled to see beyond the shadow and fog and rain that the dreaded cloud brought with it. Pulling out the letter from his bedside drawer he searched for the words that often helped him:

 _… Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things but vice versa the bad things don't always spoil the good things and make them unimportant. I know that it hurts right now, but after some time it won't hurt as badly. You aren't going to believe a word I say but there will come a day when you can say that you're okay and mean it. There's nothing that you can do but try. You're at the bottom right now but you will come back up. I promise you that things will make sense again._ _Sometimes the route to joy is indirect, our journey home not quite as we expected. There is no magic star to guide our steps, no ancient prophecies to predict our way. The greatest gift is to know that we travel not alone, but in the company of others and I will always be here for you._

 _Just get through this and you will come out stronger_

 _All my love,_  
 _Your Mother_


	2. Chapter 2

How was the first chapter? Alright I hope! Speaking of alright, how are you guys? I hope your having a good day (or night)... I'm babbling, I'll just get on with the chapter. Allons-y!

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Gilbert had seen Anne out with Roy Gardner for the first time. It felt like a knife had been thrust into his stomach. He tried to converse with them in a casual manner, but honestly, he couldn't wait to leave their company. He was learning to mask his pain and disappointment rather well now. Anyway, Christine was becoming a good friend to have and he didn't mind having her company. She could never replace Anne, but he had promised Ronald, the man who had been there for him right from the start, to watch out for her and even though he was reluctant, he didn't regret it. Sometimes, he could swear that Anne had a slight air of jealousy when Christine was with him, but maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part. Sitting down at his desk, he was compelled to write another letter. He hadn't written in a while, he was slowly learning to cope, but with Gardener in the picture, he felt as if he were back to square one.

 _Anne,_  
 _It has been quite some time since I've sat down to write, but since your dashing Royal Gardener has appeared, I feel like I've lost all progress. I still think of you a lot, nearly all the time, in fact. I'm thinking about you in the dark nights, under the street lamps and lights I think about you, on the boulevards and on the pavement, I think about all the walks we took together. When I wake up, you're usually on my mind, you're in my dreams, in the sunshine you're in my thoughts. On my good days, I think about you. When I am having a bad day, I think about you. Isn't that ridiculous? I should be over you by now. I suppose that loving someone since you were fourteen makes it extremely to learn how to live without you. I'm sorry that I'm still thinking about you, I'm almost obsessed I'm afraid to say. Before we went our separate ways, I used to think that we were good together. Seeing you smile about nothing made me smile and then we would appear rather silly to others, smiling for nothing._

 _Anne, I keep repeating that I don't love you in my mind just to fall asleep, to dream about a different way of getting up without hurting. I am trying to seek peace even at the cost of making war with you. It's a beautiful disaster and I'm sorry for it,_

 _I don't want you, but I need you. It's rather frustrating to tell you the truth. To need someone who doesn't need you. I didn't want a day without you, but as it happens, somehow, I've lived through another one. I found it hard to breathe, I was deeply wounded in disbelief at how much it hurt. I don't want a life without you, but I have to make myself live one. You still make me nervous when you walk in the room and I know that it is wrong but there is something about you. I doubt you will care, but I will learn to live and love again. Goodness knows when, and goodness knows that I don't want to, but it will have to happen eventually._  
 _If your Roy brings you happiness, then as much as I don't want to, I wish you all the best._  
 _Gilbert_

He sighed and put down his pen, no matter how much he wrote, he knew that it would never heal the ache burning in his heart. He needed to write another note, not to Anne, but rather to her new beau. Uncertain if he would send this one or not, he decided that he would scribble down his thoughts and then wait and see how he felt in the morning when he was calmer.

 _Gardener,_  
 _You had better take good care of Anne, don't you ever make her cry. Tell her that you love her, make sure that you are always thinking of her in everything you say and do. Be just as kind to her as you can be._

That would do for tonight. He was tired and there was nothing left to do but get ready for bed and go to sleep.

Gilbert woke up feeling as if a weight were bearing down on his chest. He sighed, it was just going to be one of those days. He didn't want to leave his bed today, and if weren't for his lectures and upcoming exams, he probably would have stayed there. He got up and went into autopilot mode, he resigned himself to the fact the it wasn't going to be a good day. Thankfully, Christine wasn't going to spending time with him today, he wasn't up to putting on a happy mask. Sometimes he wondered what the point of carrying on like this was, but he remembered The Beatitudes, his mother always told him to remember them the bad days, * "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.".

He remembered a time in his life when his mother was the same as him. He didn't know why when he was younger, but when he was older, he realised why she had gone through a stage where she didn't leave her room. When he was about 5 years old, his mother was so happy one day, she told him that he may be getting a little brother or sister. He remembers the feeling of excitement and for weeks the house was the happiest he knew. But then one day, that happiness suddenly vanished. He didn't know why Mummy had stayed in her room and his dad didn't let him see her that day. Or the next. One day there was going to be a baby, and then the next, there wasn't. He didn't understand what was going in, why he was forbidden from seeing his mother. But when he did eventually climb into bed with her, her hug didn't have any warmth, they were just arms around him. He knew that she loved him, but where did his happy mother go? He remembered hearing her quiet sobs through the walls, other days she didn't show any emotions at all. It was months before the old Mummy came back, but there was always a sadness that didn't leave her. Somedays, he caught her looking at a newly planted rose bush with a misty look in her eyes. They never spoke of what happened, it wasn't the done thing.

He thought back to the first day of lectures at Redmond. Before that … man was at Redmond. When he was far, far away from Anne. The days when Gilbert was blissfully ignorant of what was yet to come. Not knowing what lay ahead was both a blessing and a sorrow.

 _Anne met up with Gilbert just as he was leaving the lecture theatre. She beamed at him,_  
 _"How was it?"_  
 _Gilbert grinned, "The professor is brilliant! He has a portrait of Elizabeth Garrett Anderson in the corner of the room. He has to hide it sometimes because some of his colleagues don't agree with his support of her!"_  
 _"Who is Elizabeth Garrett Anderson and why is her portrait in a biology lecture theatre?" Anne asked._  
 _"She was the first women to qualify in Britain as a physician and as a surgeon, co-founder of the first hospital staffed by women, first dean of a British medical school, first female doctor of medicine in France, and first woman in Britain to be elected to a school board. She didn't even give up her profession after marrying and managed to raise her own children." Gilbert said enthusiastically, "If that isn't a good enough reason for her portrait to be in a university, then what is?"_  
 _Anne rolled her eyes, "And other professors don't agree with this." She sniffed, "I'm baffled that anyone thinks that girls aren't the equal of boys."_  
 _Anne was about to hit Gilbert, not noticing the cheeky sparkle in his eye, when she heard him say, "I don't think they are equal of boys." but then laughed when he added, "I think they're better.". The cheek of him! Winding her up like that!_

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*Matthew 5: 1 - 12

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Reviews would be amazing. I want to hear your opinions! If you think anyone is OOC, feel free to let me know! I'd like to stay true to the characters as much as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

Quite a big time jump but hope you enjoy this chapter. I should probably mention that this will be quite a short fanfiction.

By the way, I want to give a shout out to AerisHeartily12! I was having a bad day and reading their review meant a lot, so thank you very much :)

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They were approaching graduation. As was the announcement of Roy and Anne's engagement. Well, so was what the rumour mill of Redmond was spreading. He couldn't criticize, they were also spreading rumours of his impending engagement to Christine but he didn't care. He knew she had a fiancée, but what did that matter to Redmond. The day arrived and Gilbert decided that enough was enough. He would have to get over the pain and for old times' sake, he would send Anne some flowers. After all, they had come to Redmond together, and he might as well part ways with her on a friendlier note than they had spent the past years. Granted they had been courteous to each other, but being polite wasn't really the same as what a bond was. A positive result of trying to avoid Anne was that he had thrown himself into his studies. For that, he was thankful for, for he had become top of his class without any competition. Before it had been rather competitive between himself and two other students, but when his friendship with Anne had broken down, through the desperation of not allowing her to stay in his head, he filled his mind with, well, shall we say, more relevant things to his future now. He had carried on with his football and occasionally other social events and groups, but all the rest of the time, his head was in a book, and a pen was in his hand. He was focusing on taking High Honours and the Cooper Prize.

Sitting at his desk was unsure of what to write in the note. He couldn't write what his true thoughts were, so he finally came down to the decision of writing down some reconciling words.  
This was the end of an era, he may as well try to fix things before it was too late. They may not be the same as they were before, but it was a start. A painful start, but a new beginning nonetheless. He had decided on lilies-of-the-valley to accompany the note. He distinctly remembered their spring blooming in the Green Gables yard. The flowers would be a peace offering between them.

As everyone sat down for the graduation ceremony, he caught sight of Anne. He could see that she was holding flowers, but he didn't see enough to figure out whose. Obviously, Roy would have given Anne some flowers as well, so most likely it would be his, he thought disappointedly. However, as Anne walked across the stage holding the lilies-of-the-valley, his heart skipped a beat. He looked around for Roy and caught sight of a pained look on his face. He couldn't help but have a little feeling of victory. He had won this time. There was to be a graduation dance later, and for the first time in years, he wasn't dreading the sight of Anne.

Gilbert was a little disappointed, and rather confused when Anne seemed annoyed with him that night. However, he had decided that he would have to brush it off, there was nothing else to do. After all, he never knew what went on in the head of that girl. At least there was still the other girls of Patty's Place to dance and have a laugh with. They weren't the same as Anne, but they were still fun to be around, especially Phil. The strange, and endearing Phil. He would miss her, she was what got him through the visits at Patty's Place. The dance was enjoyable, not as enjoyable as it could have been if Anne had not been so distant, but he was still satisfied with the little win of the flowers. As he left the festivities, he couldn't help but remember that she was still going to marry Roy.

Gilbert left for Avonlea as soon as he could. He was rather looking forward to leaving it all behind, as he found it rather ironic that he used to be excited to leave his hometown behind just a few years earlier, whereas now, he couldn't wait to get back home. He had been feeling a little bit tired as the days had been passing. Each day, he was becoming more fatigued and feeling nauseous every now and then, but he had brushed it off. He was just tired from studying and stress. And everyone feels sick every now and then, there was no point in overreacting. As he got off the boat, he felt someone nearly knock him over and wrap him up in a tight hug.  
"Could you please let go a little bit? It's a bit hard to breathe." He laughed as his mother refused.  
"Just a few more seconds." She sighed, "Look at you! Have you been eating? You look exhausted!"  
Gilbert's father came up to the two, "Let the boy breathe." He laughed and shook Gilbert's hand. He paused before also pulling him into an unexpected hug. He stepped back,  
"We'd better get going." He said. Mrs. Blythe was beaming the whole way home,  
"My boy's a university graduate! Oh, I'm so proud!"

As soon as they stepped back into the house, Mrs. Blythe headed straight into the kitchen.  
"I am going to get some food into you, even if that's the last thing I do." She said determinedly, "Go upstairs and freshen up. Some of the ladies Aid members are coming over."  
"Showing me off like a prized possession." Gilbert rolled his eyes. Mr. Blythe patted him on the back,  
"She's just proud. And so am I for the fact."  
Gilbert walked up into his old room and began unpacking. As he was putting his clothes away, he felt a slight stabbing pain in his stomach. Brushing it off, he carried on and after changing and washing, he came back downstairs to be faced with a plate of food on the table. To tell the truth, he wasn't very hungry. He was still feeling a bit ill. It must have been the way back on the boat, after all, it had been a bit rougher than usual.  
"I'm really sorry, but I'm not very hungry right now." He apologised. His mother looked disappointed, she was guilt tripping him and he knew it. And it was working.

He sighed, "Okay, fine. I'll eat a little bit." His mother instantly brightened.

Finally, everyone had left. Gilbert was feeling more drained than ever, and even sicker than usual. His father had mysteriously disappeared as soon as the first visitor had appeared. His mother bustled about, tidying up when she noticed how pale Gilbert was looking.  
"Are you well?" she asked concerned. Gilbert decided to tell the truth.  
"I haven't been feeling well for quite some time now. Nearly a month ago I started feeling a bit sick." He admitted.  
"Darling!" Mrs. Blythe exclaimed, "Why haven't you told me! You sent all of those letters and not once mentioned feeling ill!"  
"I didn't want you to worry." Gilbert was feeling rather faint now and his stomach was hurting more than ever, "I think I'll go up to bed now."  
As soon as his mother had seen him, she knew something was off.  
"How are you feeling? Where does it hurt?"  
Gilbert just wanted to sleep, so he got it done and over with, "I've been feeling rather cold, sick, I haven't been hungry, I have a headache and a sore stomach."  
His mother knelt down in front of him and put a hand on his forehead. She gasped,  
"You're burning up! Straight to bed!"  
Mr. Blythe had only just arrived in the room as Gilbert left, seeing the look of worry on his wife's face, it clicked. Something was not good with Gilbert.  
"I'll fetch the doctor." He nearly ran out of the room.

The doctor gravely came out of Gilbert's bedroom, "You may want to sit down." He told Mrs. Blythe. She crossed her arms,  
"What is wrong with my son?"  
The doctor led her to the sofa and sat down next to her, "I'm assuming you saw the drastic weight loss when you picked him up."  
Mrs. Blythe nodded, "I thought it was stress. He told me that he was feeling a bit sea sick."  
Mr. Blythe came into the room and sat down, "Have you diagnosed him?"  
The doctor gravely nodded, "A rash has appeared on his chest and judging by the rest of his symptoms, I believe that-"  
Before he could finish, Mrs. Blythe covered her mouth to stop herself from screaming. Mr. Blythe froze, "H-he can't have typhoid. I can't even remember that last time he was ill with the flu."  
The doctor was also struggling to continue, he should be used to breaking bad news, but the Blythes were family friends, and that made even more difficult. He had known Gilbert since he was a baby, he had known even when he still an unborn child.  
"He is already in the second week, I'm amazed that he was still managing to function by himself throughout the first week. Stress can lower the immunity system, and university can be very taxing."

"Have you told him yet?" Mr. Blythe demanded. The doctor shook his head,

"I wanted to know if you wanted to tell him yourselves."  
"I'll tell him." Mrs. Blythe quickly choked out, "I'm his mother. I've taken care of him with every injury, every illness. I'll take care of him now too. I won't leave him alone. Not one second." She got up and forced herself to walk up the stairs, followed by the doctor, and Mr. Blythe.

She slowly approached the bed where Gilbert was lying asleep. He looked so deathly pale that she would have thought that he was dead if not for his chest slowly rising and falling. She woke him up and tried to hide away any fear and pain from her face.  
"Mum," he whispered tiredly, "What's wrong with me?"  
"Darling, you are not very well. You are very sick and you will be for quite some time. If I could take all pain and sickness from you, I would do it in a heartbeat." She took a shaky breath, "You have Typhoid Fever."  
Gilbert was now half asleep, he didn't even register what was going on, "Oh, okay. I'm just going to sleep now, wake me up later. I need to help Dad." He replied quietly as he drifted off.

The doctor had left a few hours ago, and Gilbert's mother was finally able to release her long held back tears. Her husband held her whilst she sobbed, there was nothing else to be done.  
"I'm his mother," Mrs. Blythe cried, "I should have noticed, I should have seen what was wrong. I'm a terrible mother."  
"He hid all his symptoms, if he had shown them openly, you would have known. You are not a terrible mother, you are an amazing and strong one. And that is what we must be right now. Strong, for his sake."  
Mrs. Blythe nodded mutely and shakily walked back to Gilbert's room. It was a slippery slope from now and she would spend every second of every minute of every day until her son was better.

Mrs. Blythe had not yet left Gilbert's bedside. She had hardly slept, ate or drunk anything. Mr Blythe had to keep the farm running but whenever he was home, he would check on Gilbert as often as possible. Mrs. Blythe was desperately trying keep Gilbert's temperature down and keeping him hydrated, but it was a herculean task. He was becoming delirious, asking for his mum when she was already next to him, assuring him tearfully that she was there, apologising to someone who wasn't there (Mrs. Blythe never caught whose name it was but she had a suspicion of who he was talking to) and for some unknown reason, he spent a day talking about pigs wearing top hats and bowties that were dancing around the room, and a cow wearing a dress hiding behind the curtain. It was nearly the end of the second week when he suddenly held his mother's hand, fully opened his eyes for the first time and urged her to give Anne the book that was still in his suitcase. He was insistent, and she knew that he wasn't aware of what he was saying but she would do anything for Gilbert.  
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart, but Anne isn't in Avonlea right now. I can't give her the book." She said sadly, as Gilbert still pleaded with her.  
"Please, she needs to know, she needs to read-" he never finished his sentence as he had fallen back into silence and just writhed in his bed. His fingertips were nearly raw from his constant plucking of his blanket.

Mrs. Blythe received the news that Anne was coming back to Avonlea during the third week, the most dangerous week. The week were life threatening complications could occur. The doctor had told the Blythes that this was one of the worst cases that he had seen in a long time. They had to brace themselves for whatever was to come. The nurse had arrived halfway through the second week and both she and Mrs. Blythe were doing their bests, but so far, their bests were perhaps not good enough.  
Mrs Blythe sat on a chair next to Gilbert,  
"Anne is coming back in Avonlea soon," she hoped that the news would maybe make a difference, but she was clutching at straws, he probably couldn't hear her, "Now, you get better so you can see her, you hear me?" she held back tears. To her surprise, Gilbert replied. If it was by coincidence, or he had understood her.  
"Give her the book." He mumbled, "She needs to read…" he trailed off.

As the end of the third week approached, Mrs. Blythe finally brought herself around to leaving the house. Since Gilbert was diagnosed, they had cut themselves off from the rest of the world. People would come to their door only to find no one would answer. They left cards and meals on the doorstep, understanding that 'the poor Blythe family' found it was best to be left alone. Occasionally, they would encounter John Blythe on his way home, but the conversation would be short. There had been no complications so far, but she wouldn't bring herself to celebrate until the whole ordeal was finished and her son was safely back. As it so happened, she arrived at Green Gables the day before Anne had arrived. Nobody was home so Mrs. Blythe left the book, wrapped in an old unread newspaper addressed to Anne.


	4. Chapter 4

_The world is full of love that goes unspoken. It doesn't mean that it is felt less deeply or that separation leaves a cleaner wound. Its beauty... and its pain are in its silence._

 _Some of us are not blessed with revelations or confessions. Love cannot be spoken, only shown. And everything that makes the heart beat must be hushed._

 _For just as the swan's last song is the sweetest of its life, so loss is made endurable by love and it is love that will echo through eternity._

-Call the Midwife

* * *

 **"Say, Anne, did you know that Gilbert Blythe is dying?" Anne stood quite silent and motionless, looking at Davy. Her face had gone so white that Marilla thought she was going to faint.**

 **"Davy, hold your tongue," said Mrs. Rachel angrily. "Anne, don't look like that—DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT! We didn't mean to tell you so suddenly."**

 **"Is—it—true?" asked Anne in a voice that was not hers.**

 **"Gilbert is very ill," said Mrs. Lynde gravely. "He took down with typhoid fever just after you left for Echo Lodge. Did you never hear of it?"**

 **"No," said that unknown voice.**

 **"It was a very bad case from the start. The doctor said he'd been terribly run down. They've a trained nurse and everything's been done. DON'T look like that, Anne. While there's life there's hope."**

 **"Mr. Harrison was here this evening and he said they had no hope of him," reiterated Davy.**

 **Marilla, looking old and worn and tired, got up and marched Davy grimly out of the kitchen.**

 **"Oh, DON'T look so, dear," said Mrs. Rachel, putting her kind old arms about the pallid girl. "I haven't given up hope, indeed I haven't. He's got the Blythe constitution in his favor, that's what."**

 **Anne gently put Mrs. Lynde's arms away from her, walked blindly across the kitchen, through the hall, up the stairs to her old room. At its window she knelt down, staring out unseeingly. It was very dark. The rain was beating down over the shivering fields. The Haunted Woods was full of the groans of mighty trees wrung in the tempest, and the air throbbed with the thunderous crash of billows on the distant shore. And Gilbert was dying!**

After a few hours, Mrs Lynde crept into Anne's room. Sitting silently on Anne's bed, she waited for Anne to let out what she needed to say. Anne knelt, rocking slightly by the window, barely above a whisper, she spoke;

"I didn't know. I didn't, I didn't. I honestly didn't, till right now. I just want him."  
Mrs Lynde gently clasped the young girl's cold hand in her own warm two. Anne didn't have the energy to pull away.

"I love Gilbert, and I never told him. But now he's dying."  
Mrs Lynde's heart broke for Anne, "If there is anything I can do to help, please let me do it."  
Anne looked up at Rachel with empty eyes, "How did you do it? When Mr Lynde died, how did you get through?" she asked monotonously. Mrs Lynde was quiet for a minute before she put a hand on Anne's pale cheek,  
"You will feel better than this, maybe not yet, but you will. You just keep living until you are alive again."  
Mrs Lynde stood up, "Would you like to come down with me? We could do something to try to get your mind off worrying about him so." She said kindly, but Anne refused;  
"That's the trouble, I can't forget him. He was everything to me, except mine. I had that chance but I threw it away. I was so stupid, so very stupid. I let my ideals get in the way of my chance with Gilbert."

Mrs Lynde joined Marilla in the living room and continued a new knitting pattern that she was trying.

As the storm raged on, worsening by every hour, Davy tried his best not to worry, but eventually, the anxiety that came with each flash of lightening, each loud crack of thunder, he couldn't resist the yarning for Anne's company. Leaving his bedroom late in the night, Davy tip toed closer to Anne's room. Slowly opening the door as quietly as possible, he saw that the she was still wide awake, not moved from the same spot in front of the window. Davy felt as if he were intruding something very personal and he was reluctant to stay but also reluctant to leave. Anne needed him. Anne sensing someone behind her, turned around. Upon seeing Davy, she did not smile as she would have in other circumstances but the young boy moved to sit next to Anne on the floor.  
"You can't sleep either I suppose." She sighed. Davy scooted over closer to Anne and rested his head against her,  
"Dora is asleep but I'm too scared."  
"I'm scared too," Anne replied mournfully. The room lit up as lightning illuminated the sky and he clutched Anne's hand. Davy was unsure of how to talk to Anne when she was in such a state, so for once in his life, Davy bit his tongue.

Marilla suddenly woke up after a particularly loud crash of thunder and decided that she would check on Anne. Upon seeing Davy sitting next to Anne, she quickly walked next to the boy and pulled him to his feet.  
"I wish that he could stay, but he must get some sleep." She looked sternly at him, "Shouldn't you."  
Davy was about to protest but Anne had already gone back to her vigil, now unresponsive to the two people behind her. Marilla dragged a reluctant Davy from the bedroom and lead him back to his own.  
"She's upset because Gilbert is dying, isn't she?" Davy said. Marilla shushed him,  
"He is not dying." She replied curtly, despite having doubts herself. As Davy was being tucked back into bed, he whispered to Marilla,  
"I imagine that you have to be brave to be in love. Knowing that your heart may get broken, some point along the way."  
Marilla could find no reply to the young boy's unusually wise statement so instead bid him good night.

Marilla came back into Anne's room and stood next to the girl, looking down at her with eyes full of sadness.  
"The longest nights are seldom seen approaching. Storms may not be heard until they break." She paused, "Like life itself, challenges and change are there to be confronted and we must weather them, alone or together."  
Anne remained silent, before quietly saying:  
"Please tell me, is this a dream? Because if this is real life, I don't want it." She looked up, tears in her eyes, "Do you mind if I could just be by myself? I wish to be alone for now."

Anne looked up at the rolling clouds, the rain pattering loudly on her window. Marilla remembered suddenly that she had left the journal on Anne's desk, she didn't know what had triggered her to remember, maybe it was just trying to think of something to help the girl.  
"Mrs. Blythe left you something, there's a note with it. I put it on your desk."

Before Anne had opened the journal, she read the note left from Mrs. Blythe explaining that Gilbert had wanted her to read it. Anne reflected on one of their last nights in Avonlea before they had left to go back to Redmond…before that night where she had been so foolish and horrible.

D _aylight savings had reached its peak and despite it being relatively early, the moon was glowing brightly amongst the white stars, twinkling, spread across the night sky. Gilbert watched Anne's face as her pale skin was ethereally lit up by the light of the moon, her eyes full of awe as she observed the majesty of the universe. Oh, what he'd give for just a peek into her mind._  
 _"What are you thinking, Anne?" he asked softly, gently bringing her out of her reverie. She smiled at him,_  
 _"Just look at the sky, look at the world that surrounds us. Everywhere we look the magic of nature blazes before our eyes. There's so much more to the world than our eyes allow us to see. If you look hard enough, you can see that there are more wonders than you could ever dream of." She sighed contently. Gilbert laughed,_  
 _"The world would be so dull if you weren't here to share your imagination," Gilbert replied. For the rest of the walk, they traveled in companionable silence. Just before the walked up to the gate, a shooting star streaked across the heavens. Anne gasped and Gilbert watched as she closed her eyes and focused on making a wish._  
 _"What did you wish for, Anne?" he asked curiously, seeing the childlike joy on her face. She laughed,_  
 _"If I told you that, then it wouldn't come true, now would it!"_  
 _Gilbert grinned, "What is it you want, Anne? What do you want?" he asked, "Do you want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down." He paused, "That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Anne." He finished looking deeply into her eyes. Anne's heart gave a little flutter and she felt herself blush under Gilbert's gaze, she pulled herself together before lightly answering, "I'll take it."_  
 _Gilbert cleared his throat, "I'd better head home now. See you tomorrow."_

 _As the Green Gables household had gathered around for dinner, Anne was lost in thought. It wasn't unusual, but this night, Gilbert was taking up a rather large amount of her thoughts. I wonder what it would be like to hold the moon? She pondered._  
 _"Well, it would be rather difficult seeing as it would be too large to hold in one's hand," Marilla stated. Anne blushed, she hadn't realised that she had spoken aloud._  
 _"I do wonder how you manage to concoct all of your peculiar ideas." Mrs. Lynde smiled, "What prompted that thought?"_  
 _"Oh, no particular reason." Anne said breezily, "The moon is very bright tonight, maybe it stemmed from thinking about that."_  
 _That answer seemed to satisfy both ladies and they carried on with their meal._  
 _"I thought it was because Gilbert said that he would lasso the moon and give it to you if you wanted." Davy piped up, "I heard you two talking when I was outside." Anne's face grew warm. Mrs. Lynde took pity on the girl,_  
 _"It is rude to eavesdrop young man, and to talk about people's private conversations to others is very impolite." She scolded him. Marilla had rolled her eyes._

Anything had begun to remind Anne of Gilbert, for a forgotten about unfinished knitted woollen scarf had reminded her of the time when Gilbert had unintentionally adopted an abandoned lamb.

 _It was finally the first day of the school holidays and for that, Anne was extremely thankful. Some of the children had become very restless and trying, and Anne was nearly at the end of her tether. She stood by the Lake of Shining Waters and breathed in the tranquility. He suddenly heard a voice passing behind her say,_  
 _"Please stop following me! I'm not your mother!"_  
 _She turned around to see Gilbert being followed by a lamb. Anne disguised her laugh with a cough._  
 _He sighed, "She's not meant to leave the yard. I found her stuck in some brambles last week and took her home to look after her but she keeps following me around instead of staying where she is supposed to." He explained to Anne, "I can't go anywhere without her following me!" Gilbert rolled his eyes and turned around to go back the way he came, "Fine, back home we go." He said to the lamb_  
 _"Have you asked around to see if it belongs to anyone?" Anne asked_  
 _"Of course I have! No one claimed her." He looked sternly at the lamb who just bleated and moved closer to him, "I suppose that I'll have to look after her now."_  
 _Anne hid a smile, the lamb may annoy Gilbert, but she could see through his mask. He had grown fond of it._  
 _"Does she have a name?" Anne said lightly. Gilbert shook his head,_  
 _"Not yet. I've been thinking of Jeweno" Gilbert laughed, "It's like the name Juno, but with ewe instead of a u."_  
 _Anne shook her head in disbelief, only Gilbert would come up with a name that was a pun._

 _"Come on then, Mary*." Anne grinned, "I'll walk with back with you. I should be getting back too."_

Anne wanted to smile at the memories, but she couldn't bring herself to. As she had finished reading the Book of Revelations, she picked up the book left for her and opened it, finding letters addressed to her filling up the pages. Reading them all one after the other, poring and absorbing in every word inked onto the pages. She reached the final letter, right at the end of the journal. It was dated a few months before graduation. She continued to read the last sentence over, and over again. The words burnt into her mind.

 _…I've decided to give up on you. I've stopped visiting because not seeing you helps me to forget, which I've finally learnt how to do. It both hurts but has helped me to start healing. I wish you the best for your future with Roy, you deserve all the happiness you can get. I have no more pages to fill, and I feel that I have no need to buy another journal. I'll be in Avonlea for a bit before I go to medical school, maybe we can begin our friendship again._

 _Best wishes,_

 _Gilbert_

Friendship. He had given up. Perhaps the rumours were true, he was going to propose to Christine. Maybe he had already proposed. After all, she had no right to claim him as hers after all that she had done to him. If he had found happiness with Christine, then that was that. She had lost her chance. Roy may have been her ideal man, but he didn't belong in her life like Gilbert did. On paper, Roy and Anne were the perfect couple, but in reality, they were not meant to be together.

* * *

*Juno is also an Irish name meaning lamb  
*Reference to Mary Had a Little Lamb (in case you didn't pick it up)

Comments are appreciated!


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry about this very, very short chapter!

* * *

The news that Anne had finally returned home again reached the Blythe household as the nightmare was ending. The news that Gilbert's fever had broken that very night had not reached Avonlea but his parents couldn't wait to tell everyone. They wanted to shout it from the hilltops that their son, Gilbert Blythe, had pulled through. He had made it.

Gilbert hadn't heard of Anne's arrival yet, his parents had decided to leave it for a day or two, they didn't want him to get over excited and emotionally drained. They knew it was cruel, but they didn't want to risk anything. Not now that he had finally gotten through the worst of it.

Gilbert wasn't feeling up to talking to anyone about Anne, let alone thinking about her. As soon as his mother had begun to say, "Anne's back at Green Gables." he had shut down the conversation with an uninterested, "That's nice," and said that he was too tired to talk. He had tried to maintain a facade of coolness but he had a feeling that his mother could see right through him. After a few attempts, Mrs Blythe gave up. The next morning, when he was sitting up in bed reading a book, well, to be precise, he was pretending to read a book when his mother came into his room. Preparing to stop her from mentioning Anne, his mother instead just handed him an envelope, "It arrived last week. It's from one of your friends from Redmond.", she smiled and quietly left the room. Gilbert tore open the envelope and opened a letter from skimmed through the first half of the letter. It wasn't that he had no interest in what she had to say, but he suddenly had a terrible headache. Focusing on the extreme cursive writing wasn't very easy on fatigued eyes. However, that was all forgotten when he reached the last page.

 _Now, this is one of the most important things that you will be hearing (well, reading to be exact). You read this carefully now, do not ignore it as soon as you see the name Anne mentioned. You will want to know this. I knew that you were putting on a front for years at Redmond. Don't deny it, Gilbert Blythe. I'd best get straight to the point. Roy has indeed proposed to Anne. Don't you dare tear up this part of the letter and throw it away, let me finish! Anne said no! She is not engaged to Roy and never will be. Anne may have courted Roy for years but she was merely in love with the idea of love and the idea of him. I'll freely admit that I may not be the most sensible girl in the world most of the time, but this will be the most sensible advice that you will hear from me for quite some time. Actually, I am not advising you, I am ordering you to try again! You must propose to Anne! I know that you still love her and Anne is in love with you, she was just too caught up in her fantasy to see it. It is all in your hands now, don't waste this chance.  
Best regards,  
_ _Your friend Phil  
_ _PS. Good luck!_

Gilbert stared at the words in disbelief. The letter went on for a couple more pages but by the end of reading it, he couldn't even remember what Phil had written apart from the first few sentences. Anne loved him!

ANNE LOVED HIM!

Forcing himself to remain in bed, he tried to calm his heart and act as normal as possible when his mother returned to his room. But unfortunately for Gilbert, his mother had gained an even keener vision when it came to observing Gilbert. She beamed when she noticed the twinkle in his eye, the spark that he had had before everything had gone awry with his relationship with Anne, had finally returned.

Mrs Blythe nearly teared up with joy. Her son had been so miserable for so long, the sight and thought of him happy again made her heart ache with an unbelievable amount of delight.

Days passed and the doctor was surprised at the rate that Gilbert was recovering. He later told Mrs and Mr Blythe in astonishment, "In all of my years as a doctor, of all of the typhoid cases that I have dealt with, I have never seen anybody convalescing so quickly."

The news spread quickly around Avonlea that the Blythe boy was quickly recovering and the nosy members of the community anticipated seeing him, looking forward to having something new to gossip about after Sunday service. As Mrs Blythe was returning home from Avonlea, she was cornered by Rachel who pretended to let slip how Anne reacted to the news of Gilbert having been taken ill.

The Blythes couldn't wipe the smile off of her face the Sunday that Gilbert went with them to service. From the moment they set foot in the church, there were hushed whispers as the people caught sight of Gilbert. Gilbert felt embarrassed at the attention but tried to ignore it as they moved to their pew. Noting the anxious look on Anne's face as she kept glancing at him during the minister's sermon, he gave her a quick smile. Anne gave a sigh of relief, maybe they could start over again. Unable to talk after the sermon as Mr and Mrs Blythe hurried back home.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for your awesome reviews!

* * *

It was one of the most beautiful days that Avonlea had seen in a long time. The sky was a bright blue and a light, cool, breeze drifted through the trees. Birds ducked and dived and soared high above, chirping the sweetest melodies. In the sunshine, the world was brighter. Vibrant. Alive.

"How are you feeling? Will you be alright while I'm gone? I'll only be away for a couple of hours at most." Mrs Blythe said worriedly. It was the first time that Gilbert was going to be home alone since he had been ill and she couldn't help her hands fluttering about, constantly putting her hand against Gilbert's forehead to check his temperature, fluffing cushions, retucking a blanket tightly over his legs.

"Mother! I will be fine." Gilbert laughed, "You don't need to rush home." His mother sighed,

"I know, I know but I can't help fussing." she looked at him sternly, "Promise me that you will stay here. I don't want you to injure yourself, you're not strong enough to wander about the property."

Gilbert was about to protest when he realised he would not win this battle. "Fine, I promise that I will stay here." he agreed. His mother smiled and kissed him on the cheek. As soon as she had left, Gilbert threw off the blanket and went inside to get some books. _Technically I haven't left_ , he thought to himself, _she never specified that I had to stay in the chair._ The stairs proved quite a challenge but Gilbert wasn't going to give up that easily.

As Anne sat down for breakfast, she could feel Marilla and Mrs Lynde's eyes on her. Avoiding making eye contact with them, she put an unnecessary amount of focus on pouring some water.

"Good morning Anne," she said, scrutinising the girl from across the table, "How are you today?". Rachel Lynde had always had a keen vision when it came to observing those around her and Anne had always been an open book, however, in this morning, she could quite figure out what was going on in Anne's head.

To be honest, Anne didn't know how she felt. She had made up her mind to visit Gilbert and figure at what they were to each other and she couldn't put the exact feelings into words so she settled for a breezy,

"I'm alright, thank you. Could you pass the jam please Dora."

"What are you going to do today?" Marilla asked, "I have a few chores that I need some help with if you wouldn't mind."

Anne did mind in fact, despite her nerves, she wanted to see Gilbert as soon as she could to try to resolve whatever was going on between them now.

"I was going to go out but I can stay if you need me to," she replied. Marilla assured her that it would only be one or two things that she needed to get out of the way and she would be free for the rest of the day.

"That's a lovely necklace that you are wearing, Anne." Dora said quietly, "I haven't seen you wearing it before." It was the enamel heart necklace that Gilbert had given her. She had managed to repair the clasp and, having never worn it, she decided that it was about time she had.

Finally having finished the jobs around Green Gables, Anne set on her way to visit the Blythe household. She was, in fact, more anxious about encountering Gilbert's parents than him. At least she had the hope of a renewed relationship with him due to the flowers and note he had sent her. The last time she had seen Mrs Blythe, she had faced a rather curt greeting and received monosyllable answers. Seeing the distant figure of Mrs Blythe walking towards her caused a wave of apprehensiveness to wash over her. Mrs Blythe stopped and smiled at Anne, "It's a beautiful day today, isn't it?"

Sensing the friendliness in Mrs Blythe's tone, she felt slightly less perturbed but still kept her guard up. She nodded but couldn't quite get her voice to work without exposing her uneasiness.

Mrs Blythe tried again to strike up a conversation, "Where are you off to today?"

With an open question, Anne was forced to answer nervously, "I was hoping that I may visit Gilbert. If that is okay with you of course."

"Of course you may!" Mrs Blythe eyes twinkled, "You will need to keep an eye on him, goodness knows what mischief he'll be up to. He vowed that he wouldn't go anywhere, but you know Gilbert, he will have found some sort of loophole." she laughed

Anne finally felt the worry slowly ebb away, "I'll try my best, but I can't make any promises."

Gilbert's mother laughed, "I'll let you be on your way but it was lovely to see you again, dear." Anne sighed in relief when Mrs Blythe bid farewell. She had been so worried that Gilbert's mother wouldn't want her to see him because of their history.

 _P_ _oor girl,_ _I suppose that she assumed that I despise her._ Mrs Blythe felt a twinge of guilt, if it weren't for Rachel Lynde's "accidental" revelation of Anne's reaction, deep down, there was a good chance that she may have still hated the girl. After all, her last conversation with her hadn't been the warmest.

Approaching the Blythe homestead, Gilbert was nowhere to be seen. Anne's heart stopped as she heard a muffled thump from inside the house. She flung the door open, not bothering to knock and ran to where the noise came from. "Gilbert!" she called out anxiously. There was a pause before she heard him upstairs. Upon reaching his bedroom door, she caught sight of him sitting on the floor, unable to have quite enough strength to pull himself up, "Hello Anne, lovely day isn't it." he said breezily

Anne helped him off of the floor, "What happened?"

He held up a book, "My mother put all of my textbooks on top of my wardrobe and I fell off of the chair I that was using to stand on."

Anne didn't know whether to laugh or cry at seeing Gilbert helplessly sitting on the floor. She moved the chair back to his desk and went back to help support him as they walked back to the porch.

"I hope you've learnt your lesson." Anne rolled her eyes, "Always listen to your mother. She told me to keep an eye on you." Anne casually leant against the railing and her red hair appeared glowing as it caught the suns rays and the sight of her caused Gilbert to feel breathless.

"You crossed paths?"

Anne moved to sit next to him, "I met her while I was walking. I was instructed to keep you out of trouble but it would seem that I have failed before I even arrived."

There was a pause before Gilbert said: "It's nice to see you again."

"Yes, it has been quite a while." Anne agreed, feeling ashamed of her past behaviour.

"Phil is sounding very happy.' Gilbert said, "I received a letter from her last week. Or rather I read it last week, I believe it was delivered when I wasn't in, well, when I wasn't in the best shape."

Anne shuddered, "How can you speak of having typhoid so easily?"

"Well, as you can see, I am very much alive right now. I will have to be dragged kicking and shouting next time if death comes for me, I won't be going that easily. I'm trying to light of it because life is too short to focus on the what-ifs and things you can't change." he replied calmly, the last part an exception regarding the girl sitting next to him.

Not knowing quite what to say next, they fell into silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, but it wasn't comfortable either. Both wanted to what was really on their minds but neither knowing quite how the other would react. Anne still thought that Gilbert was engaged to Christine, and Gilbert (despite what Phil told him) not wanting to put whatever remnants of their relationship at risk.

"How is Christine?" Anne asked, masking her anxiety under a façade of easiness.

"The last time I saw her she was quite well. She's rather excited about the wedding."

 _I'm too late_ , Anne's heart sank, _he_ _is engaged to Christine after all_ , "When is the date?"

"I don't know, you'll have to ask her." Gilbert replied, "She and her fiancé haven't decided yet."

Her fiancé? Anne grew confused, "I thought you were engaged to her. At least that's what people at Redmond were saying."

"That was just gossip. Her brother, Ronald, is one of my closest friends and he asked me to keep an eye out for her. To help her settle in when she started at Redmond."

Anne's face grew warm, "Oh."

"I like your necklace." Gilbert grinned, noticing the familiar little heart hanging on a thin chain around her neck. Anne couldn't help but smile back,

"Thank you, it was given to me by somebody who... who means the world to me." Anne finished nervously, looking down at her hands resting on her lap. She did not realise how Gilbert's heart swelled with hope, nor did she see his eyes light up with unbounded joy.

"I'm so very glad that you like it" Gilbert replied cheerfully, "It's about time I get an update on what's happening at Green Gables. What strife has Davy caused recently?" he added.

"You would not believe what that boy did yesterday!" Anne exclaimed.

The hours swiftly passed as they had a long due catch up. They were so caught up in their own little bubble that they failed to notice Mrs Blythe's arrival. She grinned as she saw the two in their own little world,

"Anne, I hope my boy hasn't been causing any trouble?"

Anne and Gilbert glanced at each other, "He has been very well behaved. He has stayed right here just as he promised." Anne struggled to hide a smile.

"I am sorry to tell you but I don't believe a word of that sentence." Mrs Blythe laughed good-naturedly. In reality, every time Anne had turned her back or gone off into a daydream, Gilbert had suddenly disappeared from her sight. Making up excuses such as, "I wanted to get a drink." and "I just went to to get another book." or "I needed to stretch my legs."

Mrs Blythe walked inside and Anne stood up, "I had best be going now." she said, her happiness tinged with disappointment. **Gilbert was friendly - very friendly - far too friendly*.** She was ecstatic that it was as if the past two years had never happened but there was a slight dismay that her hopes had not been completely fulfilled. **Something of their old comradeship had returned. But Anne no longer found it satisfying. The rose of love made the blossom of friendship pale and scentless by contrast.* Just as she was about to leave,**

Gilbert stood up quickly. He had to tell her, he just had to.

"Anne, wait!" he said, urgently grabbing her hand.

Anne froze before she turned around to face Gilbert, "Yes?".

* * *

*Anne of the Island

Well, well, well, what do you guys think is going to happen. Looks like you'll have to wait until...

Actually, I don't know when I'll update next. Sorry about that...

Anyway, reviewers get a free imaginary biscuit (or cookie as you North Americans say)


	7. Chapter 7

Anne froze before she turned around to face Gilbert, "Yes?".

Gilbert, mistaking Anne's hesitate to be dread, scolded himself, _Baby steps Blythe. Don't just rush into things blindly_. He racked his brains to replace his original statement and finally came out with, "I'm so glad we're friends again. I'm really glad that I have my best friend back."

Anne felt bitterly disappointed. Wrapping her arms around him in a hug, hiding the sad look on her face, she whispered, "I'm glad too."

As soon as Anne had gone, Mrs Blythe took Gilbert inside and sat him down in the kitchen. As she was preparing dinner she calmly asked, "Did you tell her?"

Gilbert feigned confusion, "Tell who what?"

"Did you tell Anne that you love her?" his mother said, furiously trying to hide any excitement from her voice. Gilbert rolled his eyes as she had her back to him.

"No, I didn't." he sighed, but before his mother could reply he said, "Before you get annoyed, remember that we have only just become friends again. I don't want to risk it right now."

"But-"

"Mother!"

Mrs Blythe huffed, "Just don't wait too long."

John Blythe happened to walk into the house just as his wife asked Gilbert about Anne.

"Are you mad, boy?!" Mr Blythe exclaimed, "Stop faffing about and tell her for goodness sake."

Gilbert stood frustrated and threw his arms up in resignation but unfortunately due to still recovering, the effect of trying to show his annoyance was spoilt as he nearly toppled over from light-headedness from standing up too quickly.

Mrs Lynde glanced at Anne for the fifth time that evening. Something was off, Anne had seemed so happy since the news broke that Gilbert was recovering but now she was different. She put down her knitting.

"Anne, why do you look so glum?"

"I'm fine," Anne lied, "I'm just tired."

Mrs Lynde folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, I'll tell you the truth." Anne said reluctantly, "I saw Gilbert today."

Mrs Lynde frowned, "Was he not happy to see you?"

'No, no, everything is good between us. Just like it used to be but-"

"You're in love with him but you think that he doesn't love you back." Mrs Lynde interrupted.

Anne looked down, "It's not that simple."

Marilla came into the room, having just tucked the twins into bed, and sat down next to Anne.

"What's wrong?" she asked, "You look sad."

"Anne is in love with Gilbert but she doesn't believe that he is still in love with her." Mrs Lynde stated before Anne could answer.

"Hey!" she protested.

"Did he tell you that?" Marilla questioned, not unkindly. Anne paused before she admitted,

"Well, he didn't say it outright. "

"What did he say?" Mrs Lynde frowned.

"He said that he was glad that we were friends again, that he had his best friend back," Anne replied. Mrs Lynde burst out laughing. Anne felt her face burning, "It's not funny!"

"Oh to be young and over analyse everything." Mrs Lynde cackled. She leant backinto the armchair and took up her knitting again.

"I don't understand." Anne said, "What do you mean?"

Marilla sat down next to Anne, "You are over thinking his words." Anne only felt more confused and embarrassed.

"But he said that we were just friends."

"It is possible to be best friends and be in love.",Mrs Lynde's eyes teared up slightly, "You wouldn't know this, but my Thomas was my best friend. We shared everything with each other, he knew me like nobody else did. We did have our fair share of arguments, let me tell you that, but we always made amends and soon, it was as if we had never quarrelled." she gave a small smile, "Now listen to me, Anne. Was Roy your best friend?"

Anne shook her head and Mrs Lynde carried on, "Even after those years of estrangement, when you saw Gilbert today, did it feel like you had never stopped being friends? Did Gilbert not give you his journal to read, something that nobody else had seen? Just because he called you his best friend does not mean that he no longer loves you. Does that make sense?"

Anne nodded and let all of Mrs Lynde's words sink in.

That night, as Anne lay in bed, she went over each word of what Gilbert had said to her, and what Marilla and Mrs Lynde had told her. Stewing in confusion, she could not fall asleep only to leave her to keep repeating the conversations again and again in her mind. _Just because Mrs Lynde said that it is possible to be best friends and in love doesn't mean it is always the case. She said that it was possible. Therefore, I can conclude that even though it is possible, this is probably not the case regarding Gilbert and me._ she thought negatively, _But he isn't engaged to Christine so maybe, just maybe, it could be true..._ Anne tossed and turned, unable to stay still, _It has been over two years, he couldn't possibly still love me...could he?_ _He sounded like stopped himself from saying something or am I just over analysing like Marilla and Mrs Lynde said?_ In frustration, she threw a pillow across the room. She sighed and picked up a photo of Matthew that was next to her bed.

"You wouldn't know by any chance what to do in this situation?" she asked the picture aloud. After a few seconds of silence, she sighed, "You always knew what to do. Maybe not so much in the realm of love and romance but you would have figured something out."

Gilbert stared out of his bedroom window at the clear night sky scattered with stars. Unlike the sky, his thoughts were more unclear than they had been in a long time. The ball was in his court, but did he want to risk it? Anne meant the world to him, he had forgotten what it felt like to make her laugh and smile. _Maybe Phil is right_ , Gilbert pondered, _maybe I still have a chance. After all, Anne refused Roy's proposal. My parents think that she is in love with me. Is it worth trying? She did sound hopeful when I stopped her or is that just wishful thinking? If she says no, it'll tear me apart. I'll have thrown everything away AGAIN._ Gilbert couldn't make up his mind. _So this is what it feels like to be Phil,_ he laughed to himself, _How on Earth did she ever get around to doing anything?_ Making himself to ignore every thought (he had grown quite skilled at it considering he had practised for the past two years) he closed his eyes. His final thought that forced its way into his mind before he drifted off to sleep was " _I wonder what Anne is thinking..."_

Anne found herself standing in the Green Gables barn all alone. The sunlight was streaming through the open door and windows, showing each speck of dust dancing in the air. There was complete silence, it was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. Suddenly, the chirping of a sparrow came from the window ledge. Drawing Anne's attention, she caught sight of Matthew walking outside. She stood frozen in shock, as Matthew entered the barn. He gave her a soft smile, "Hello Anne." he said in his gentle voice. Anne felt herself choke up. Matthew looked exactly how she remembered but, somehow, younger at the same time.

"This is just a dream isn't it." Anne said sadly.

"It is." he replied quietly. He wiped at the tear that had escaped from Anne's eye.

"So when I wake up, you won't be here anymore." she whispered mournfully.

Matthew looked at her with immense kindness in his eyes, "But that doesn't mean that I won't be with you." He lead Anne outside to sit with him.

They sat in together, basking in the sunshine and tranquillity for a while before Matthew finally spoke up, "Now, what is this issue you are having with that Blythe boy?"

Anne shurgged, rolling a small daisy between her fingers and plucking at the petals. She felt as if she were eleven years-old again as she rested her head on Matthew's shoulder.

"What's wrong Anne? We always used to talk about nearly everything, you and I." Matthew said softly, "I can't help you if you won't let me."

"I don't know what to do." Anne sighed.

Matthew looked thoughtful, "Well now, I'm not very knowledgeable regarding romance but you, my girl, are very, very smart. I know that you will come up with an answer." he said kindly. He put his arm around her, "You just see, everything will work out in the end." He stood up and looked at his watch. It is well known that time is never very straightforward in dreams, and now in Anne's dream, the sun was setting. Matthew gave a sad sort of smile, "It's about time for me to go now."

Anne quickly got to her feet, "But you've only just arrived!" she grabbed his hand, "You can't go!"

Matthew wrapped his arms around her, "I'm so proud of my little girl." he whispered. He let go and stood back, and in a blink, he was gone. Anne reached out for where he was previously standing but there was nothing. Not a trace of him. It was dark now and the lights of Green Gables were the only thing leading her way back home.

Anne woke up in her bedroom and in the world where Matthew was no longer alive. The longer she had dreamt, the more she forgot that it wasn't real. It had felt so real, she swore she could have felt Matthew's arms around her. She sat up and picking up the photo of Matthew, she held it close to her heart. Anne watched the glowing sunrise as the sun slowly rose over the Haunted Woods. It was 5 o'clock in the morning. "Matthew would have been awake by now." she murmured as she put the frame down.

* * *

Was the chapter good? Did you 6 like it? Yeah, nah? Nah, yeah?


	8. Chapter 8

I hope that this chapter is alright! I've edited this one so many times that I can't even remember the first draft!

* * *

A week had passed since Anne's first visit and the two had seen each other nearly every day, they were as thick as thieves - as Mrs Lynde put it - once again. But there was something different between them. It was not an unpleasant feeling, rather an uncertain sort of tension would crop up every now and then in their silences. As Gilbert had gained more and more strength, he and Anne had gone for short walks together, not covering very large distances, lasting no more than ten minutes before they were to return. On this particular day, Marilla had gone to Avonlea with Mrs Lynde, Davy and Dora were out with friends leaving Anne all alone. She sat, staring at the clock as seconds turned to a minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. Just before the second hand was to strike the twelve, marking the fourth minute, there was a knock at the door. She pulled open the door to find Gilbert standing there with a grin on his face.

"I did it!"

"Did what?" Anne asked

"I walked here," he replied, "by myself, sans any help."

Anne's gasped, "That must have been tiring." She went outside and sat him down on a chair, "I must say, well done!" she smiled before smacking him on the back of the head, "But that was incredibly stupid."

"I needed to do some walking to build up my strength again." Gilbert retorted, "I was just following the doctor's orders."

"I am fairly certain that he did not mention walking miles unaccompanied!"

"You must admit that I am determined." Gilbert grinned.

"Yes, I will admit that you are a determined dunce." Anne rolled her eyes, "Now, I will forget that you walked here alone. I do not condone this sort of behaviour." she added, using her best teacher voice.

"I am very sorry, I promise that I will not do it again." Gilbert bowed his head in mock shame. He looked back up at her with a cheeky look in his eyes, "Don't be mad for keeps."

Anne pretended to storm off back into the house. She poked her head out the door, "Would you care for some tea?"

The two moved to sit in the front garden, Anne having gone slightly overboard with the snacks provided for the impromptu picnic, as well as a large collection of books. Gilbert sat back against the trunk of the old oak tree. This visit was a quieter affair, both sitting and enjoying the weather and each other's company.

"You have no idea how much I've missed being outside." Gilbert laughed, plucking at the grass and twirling daisies around his fingers, "What are you reading?"

Anne lifted up the book to show him, "It's one of my many poetry books, this one being a compilation of many different poets."

"Which is your favourite?" Gilbert asked.

Anne thought for a moment before declaring, "I can't say, I love them all."

There was a teasing twinkle in Gilbert's eye, "How about The Lady of Shalott? I'm certain that that's one of your favourites." he said cheekily.

Anne rolled her eyes, "It's been years since you rescued me from-"

"Aha! You admit that I rescued you!" Gilbert said triumphantly, "This day keeps getting better and better."

"Hush, you." Anne playfully hit him on the shoulder.

"Honestly, I would like to hear you recite it," Gilbert said sincerely,"I do think that it is a wonderful ballad."

"Very well," Anne said dramatically, "I suppose I can humour you this time."

Just as Anne finished reading The Lady of Shalott, she jumped as felt something light being put on her head. She had been so absorbed in the ballad that she had forgotten her surroundings.

"Don't worry, I've just made a little crown for you to wear." Gilbert laughed not unkindly at her frightened jolt, "I imagine the Lady of Shalott to would have worn some sort of headdress."

"You know how to make a daisy chain?" Anne asked incredulously as she touched the delicate garland that rested on her hair.

"What can I say," Gilbert replied, "I am a man of many talents, a jack of all trades if you will."

Anne glanced at Gilbert and realised **how much older he looked since his illness. It was as if** **he had put boyhood behind him forever.*** She handed him the book, "It's your turn to read now," Anne said, "A man of many talents must be good at recitation."

Gilbert laughed, "Very well," he searched for a particular poem that they had annotated at school. He couldn't recall what the meaning was, he just felt as if he needed to read it. "Here we go, I remember you telling me that it was one of your favourites"

* * *

 _Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,  
_ _Old Time is still a-flying;  
_ _And this flower that smiles today,  
_ _Tomorrow will be dying._

 _The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,  
_ _The higher he's a-getting,  
_ _The sooner will his race be run,  
_ _And nearer he's to setting_

 _That age is best which is the first,  
_ _When youth and blood are warmer;  
_ _But being spent, the worse, and worst  
_ _Times, still succeed the former._

 _Then be not coy, but use your time,  
_ _And while ye may, go marry;  
_ _For having lost but once your prime,  
_ _You may forever tarry." **_

* * *

Anne was captivated by Gilbert's voice as he delivered the verse. It seemed as if even the birds and animals had fallen silent, listening.

"How did you remember that I liked it?" Anne asked softly, as spellbound, she finally drew herself out of her rapture.

Gilbert shrugged, "I remember most things you say." he said simply. He frowned, "Although, I can't recall what the message behind it was."

The morning hours slipping away into the afternoon. Gibert looked at his watch, "I must go now!" he exclaimed, "I just pray that my parents aren't home yet."

Anne jumped up, and without thinking, she grabbed him by the hand, "Quick, I'll drive you." Thanking their lucky stars, Marilla and Mrs Lynde had returned a half hour before, "I'll take the blame."

Gilbert felt a thrill go him as he felt Anne holding his hand."You really need don't need to do that, " he said, "but let's keep my little adventure to Green Gables a secret."

Anne nodded, "Mum's the word."

They sat in a comfortable stillness as they drove back and, soon enough, they arrived back at the Blythe homestead with no sign of Gilbert's parents. They both sighed in relief, quickly climbing down from the buggy, Anne tied the horse to the fence post.

"Thank you so much," Gilbert said gratefully. Running up to the door he turned around and gave a dramatic bow, "Look at that, I ran to the door perfectly."

Catching up with him, Anne laughed and stopped in front of him. Falling into silence, they gazed into each other's eyes, unsure of what to say. Anne felt as if he were searching her soul.

"I've just remembered what the meaning of the poem is," Gilbert said quietly, "Herrick was reminding us about how quickly time passes and-"

"That people shouldn't withhold their affections." Anne finished shyly. With her heart's beat unruly, stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. Blushing furiously and avoiding his surprised gaze, as she turned and briskly walked away, she left too soon to see Gilbert's eyes brighten with hope, or gently touching the spot on his cheek where she had lightly pressed her lips.

Taking off the wreath atop her head, she flopped down onto her bed. Anne was weary. Weary from feeling disappointed, jaded with life. She had begun to lose hope. Hope for a future that was offered to her, a future that she had stupidly refused. What did she mean to Gilbert? Was there another reason he had chosen that particular poem? Why are relationships so complex? Why is life so labyrinthine, interweaving so many emotions and people and events? She looked at the dusky twilight sky. A full moon was beginning its ascent as the sun set, slowly drawing the day's light with it.

Gilbert was in a cheery mood for the rest of the night. He knew the feeling all too well, the spark of optimism and hope was so powerful, he felt heart begin to swell in his chest. Tomorrow, he would risk it all. Gilbert stopped, what if he was mistaken yet again? Was love clouding his judgement and then everything would go awry. Before bed, he re-read Phil's letter, and with that - as he turned off the light - he had made his mind up.

* * *

As you well know, comments are appreciated!

 _*_ Anne of the Island

**"Robert Herrick's (1591-1674) "To the Virgins, To Make Much of Time"


	9. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NOTICE REGARDING MENTAL HEALTH**

* * *

I'm sorry this probably isn't the update that you guys were hoping for and may seem random but somebody reminded me of how important it is to talk about this subject.

If some of the letters/journal entries seem a bit dark/angry/aggressive, a reason for this is that I unintentionally took elements from my experience with depression.

When I wrote the first couple of chapters, I was in a dark place in my life and I think that that influenced my writing. People tend to associate depression with feeling sad, but it is much more than that.

There are feelings of guilt, hopelessness, feeling worthless, despair, sometimes you feel numb and hollow, and you can also be angry/irritable.

When I was diagnosed with depression, I wasn't just sad and numb, I also became angry at myself and with the world.

Why was I feeling like this, so many others have it worse off than me? Why can't I get better? Will I ever get better? What is wrong with me?

All of that guilt, anger, sadness and frustration would build up and sometimes I would end up saying some horrible things to my family and friends or pushing them away.

I actually told my twin sister that I didn't care about her, just to hurt her feelings and to get her to leave me alone when she was trying to help me.

When you are in a depressive episode, you are not yourself.

I am not a very good writer and I am writing from my own experiences, so I hope that this was an alright explanation.

If you are feeling depressed, have depression, or have any of these symptoms, I beg of you to please go and get some help. Reaching out to anyone is better than suffering alone.

 **HELPLINES:**

 **Depression Hotline (USA): 1-630-482-9696**

 **Depression Alliance (UK): 0845 123 23 20**

 **Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14**

 **Canadian Mental Health Association: 613-745-7750**

 **Depression Helpline (NZ): 0800 111 757**

 **South African Depression and Anxiety Group: 0800 12 13 14**

 **I'm sorry that I have missed a lot of countries, but always remember that there is always help and support. **


	10. Chapter 9

Thank you so much for putting up with my previous update! Even if it just helped in the tiniest way, it will mean the world to me. Anyway, here is the update that you were probably waiting for (sorry for how short it is)! Allons-y!

* * *

Gilbert cheerfully whistled as he walked to the Green Gables household. He felt as light as air, perhaps even lighter. Anne had mentioned to him previously that she was going to visit Diana and if he would like to come along. Politely declining, he had said that he would be helping his father all day. That had been his intention until he had told his parents about his plan to propose to Anne, and his parents insisted that they could survive without his aid for a while. Gilbert was determined to do it properly this time and ask Anne's guardian for her blessing. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door of Green Gables and waited nervously.

Upon opening the door to reveal Gilbert's anxious face, Marilla invited him in, informing him that Anne was currently visiting Diana and baby Fred.

"I know," Gilbert replied, "It was you I was hoping to see Miss Cuthbert."

Marilla turned to face him, sensing his nerves, she had a feeling that he was going to ask a long due request. Trying not to get her hopes up, she acted as if everything were as per usual

"Would you like some tea?" she asked calmly.

"No, thank you," Gilbert shook his head. Marilla sat down in front of him,

"How may I help you?"

"Er, is Mrs Lynde here?"

"She's upstairs presently," Marilla replied, "Would you like to see her?"

"No!" Gilbert said, "I mean, no, thank you." He corrected himself.

"Well, um, the thing is, um." Gilbert stammered, he felt his heart pound, he hadn't thought about how nerve-racking this part was.

"Yes?' Marilla said with a twinkle in her eye. Gilbert realised that she already knew what he was going to ask, so he gathered his wits about himself and got straight to the point.

"May I please have your blessing to ask Anne to marry me?" he asked, his voice less shaky.

Marilla only just managed to not jump out of her chair, however, the same could not be said of a Mrs Rachel Lynde, who having eavesdropped the entire conversation, burst through the door beaming.

"Of course you have my blessing!" Marilla's face broke into a smile. She stood up and pulled Gilbert into a rare and unexpected hug.

"Oh, I knew this day would come!" Mrs Lynde cheered, "I have said since day one that Providence had matched you and Anne! Haven't I Marilla? Haven't I?" Marilla looked at Gilbert and rolled her eyes,

"Indeed you have Rachel," she replied dryly

"Oh, this is just marvellous!" Mrs Lynde clasped her hands to together joyously, "Have you already asked Anne?"

"No, I haven't proposed, we aren't engaged quite yet." Gilbert laughed. Marilla could hear the worry in his laugh.

"You needn't stress about Anne's reply." Marilla said, "I am 100% certain that she will consent to marry you."

"Could we keep this between us, please? Just for now." Gilbert asked his question targeting Mrs Lynde in particular.

"I've finished feeding the chickens, can I go and play now?" Davy's voice suddenly came from the kitchen. He came into the room and stopped as he saw Gilbert, "Oh, hello."

Gilbert walked over to Davy, "Before you go, could I please ask you an important question."

Gilbert followed Davy to the back of the house. They sat down cross-legged on the grass and Davy looked at Gilbert, "What is it?" he said, trying to sound grown-up

Gilbert schooled his face into a very serious look, "Since you are Anne's brother and the only other man in the house, I wanted to ask your permission for something."

Davy felt a burst of pride, Gilbert had called him a man, not boy like Marilla and Mrs Lynde did.

"Could I please have your permission to marry your sister, Anne?" Gilbert asked. Davy was surprised, it was the first time somebody had spoken to him like a grown up. He had always liked Gilbert, he was fun.

"You already asked her?"

"Not yet."

"Well, I guess so." Davy said slowly, "But you have to promise that you'll take care of her, and be nice to her." He thought for a moment before adding, "And you won't move too far away." He held out his hand for Gilbert to shake on.

Gilbert nodded gravely, "I promise that I will be very nice and look after her."

"And you won't move away too far," Davy repeated

"And that we won't move too far away." Gilbert agreed, "Now, we have to keep this a secret, okay?"

"I swear I won't tell no one." Davy promised, "Not even Anne."

 _I should hope not_ , Gilbert thought to himself.

Diana and Anne were outside in the sunshine as Anne played with baby Fred who lay next to them on the blanket.

"Look at you, little one," Anne cooed as she lay on her stomach, "kicking your wee legs." The baby gurgled and his tiny fingers clasping Anne's index. "It's not fair, I want one." Anne sighed, "Can I steal him?"

"No! He's my little Freddie." Diana laughed, "You'll have one of your own eventually." Anne didn't reply and carried on entertaining baby Fred.  
"How is the Gilbert situation?" Diana asked carefully.

Anne glanced at Diana, "Have a guess."

Diana winced, "It's still the same?"

"Yes," Anne replied, "It is still the same."

"Isn't it time you told him how you feel?" Diana suggested, "After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Anne just shrugged. Diana hated seeing Anne like this, putting her guard up at the mention of Gilbert. Suddenly, baby Fred started wailing, his little red face growing redder and flailing his arms about. Diana picked him up, "Sorry Anne, I think that it's naptime now for Freddie. I will be right back." Diana swiftly disappeared into the house, leaving Anne alone with her thoughts. _Nothing ventured, nothing gained_

"Are you sure wouldn't like to stay a while longer?" Mrs Lynde asked for the fourth time, "I'm sure Anne will be back soon."

Gilbert rose from his seat, "I'm afraid that I can't stay any longer Mrs Lynde, I am already late with helping my father on the farm."

"Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't mind!" Mrs Lynde insisted.

"We won't keep you any longer." Marilla said, ignoring her friend, she led him back to the front door, "Thank you very much for your visit." Marilla said as she held the door open.

"Thank you for giving me your blessing to marry Anne." Gilbert smiled.

"You had my blessing long ago." As Marilla watched Gilbert leave, giving him a final wave as he closed the gate, she felt her joy tinged with a sadness. _If only Matthew were here_ , she thought mournfully as she gently closed the door.

Anne was suspicious. Mrs Lynde kept giving her looking at Anne and smiling to herself, she caught Marilla humming cheerfully as she prepared dinner, and Davy was bizarrely quiet, he barely spoke to her, acting very secretive. After dinner, she tried to corner Davy and get him to tell her what was going on.

"Davy," she began, "Do you know why everybody is acting so odd tonight." Davy who looked as if he was trying desperately to not speak, shook his head. She tried again, "It makes me sad that you won't talk to me." She said looking at him with a mournful look in her eyes. Davy was about to break when he saw Marilla give him a stern look over Anne's shoulder. He quickly slipped away and ran upstairs. Anne turned to look at Mrs Lynde, surely, if anybody would let slip what was going on, it would be Rachel Lynde. She approached her and sat down next to her.

"Mrs Lynde," Anne said quietly, "Do you know why on earth is everybody except Dora acting so strangely tonight?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Mrs Lynde fibbed. _Lord, forgive me for this falsehood_ , she prayed, _but it is for a good cause_.  
Anne raised an eyebrow, this would be harder than she thought.

By the end of the night, Anne was no closer to figuring out what was going on than she was before. Davy had disappeared for the rest of the evening; Dora - or so she had said - had no idea, Mrs Lynde managed to keep whatever the secret was to herself and asking Marilla about it was like talking to a brick wall. Having made no progress whatsoever, as much as it disappointed her, she decided to give up. As she headed to Davy and Dora's room, she heard them whispering.

"I just have to tell someone," he said urgently to Dora, "I promised I wouldn't but I'm sure that he wouldn't mind if I said it to you."

 _He?_ Anne wondered. She listened closely as Dora replied; "If you promised that you wouldn't tell anyone, you have to keep your promise."

"I feel like I'm going to burst!" he whispered, "And I can't tell Anne! If I don't tell you, then I'll end up saying it to Anne and then everything will be ruined!"

"I suppose you can tell me the secret then," Dora said doubtfully. Just as Anne was about to hear the secret she heard Davy say,  
"Wait! The door is open."

Not wanting to be caught listening, Anne quickly stepped in front of the door as she had just walked past and innocently said, "Good night Davy, good night Dora."

"G'night Anne." Davy said quickly as he sprung up from his bed and shut the door.


	11. Chapter 10

Well, my dear readers, here we are. This is it. The moment you have been waiting for

* * *

Anne was frustrated. She still couldn't figure out for the life of her what on earth had gotten into the inhabitants of Green Gables. As she sat down for breakfast she noticed Mrs Lynde was still beaming, and Davy still remained uncharacteristically silent and avoiding all eye contact with her. Dora and Marilla were the only two who acted as per usual, but she supposed that that was to be expected of the calmest members of the household.

"So, Anne, dear," Mrs Lynde began cheerfully, "Do you have any plans today?"

Anne buttered her bread, observing the older woman suspiciously, "I am going to see Diana after breakfast and then I am intending to go for a walk this afternoon."

"Oh, with Diana?"

"No, she's too busy with baby Fred, that's why I'm going to visit her instead."

Then who?"

"I'm meeting with Gilbert," Anne replied. Noting the nearly imperceptible squeal of delight from Mrs Lynde, she added, "Why do you ask?"

Before Rachel could answer, Marilla swiftly interrupted and said, "She's a young woman now, Rachel, we don't need to enquire her about her every move and decision." Anne picked up a slight undertone of sharpness in her voice. Davy opened his mouth to speak up but instead yelped as someone kicked him in the shin under the table. Mrs Lynde and Marilla looked at each other confused, they knew neither of them would resort to that tactic. Dora merely looked ahead with a solemn expression as Davy stared at her in shock.

"Davy, you were going to say something." Anne seized the chance to get him to talk, "You were very distant with me last night. Have I done anything to upset you?"

The boy shook his head furiously, wanting to avoid any possibility of elbows or kicks in his direction.

* * *

Anne knocked on the door and was greeted by an exhausted and dishevelled Diana. Apologising for her unkempt appearance, she invited Anne in. Anne decided to not beat around the bush, "I thought what about what you said the other day and I've decided that I should tell Gilbert how I feel about him."

Diana's head turned to face her so sharply that Anne thought she could get whiplash! She shrieked in joy and began bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet excitedly, all weariness vanishing.

"I have been waiting for this day for goodness knows how long." she grinned, "When are you going to tell him? Are you going to see him anytime soon? Will you see him today? Please tell me you're going to see him today!" she stopped, her eyes widened, "What are you going to say to him?"

Anne shrugged, "That's the problem," she laughed tensely, " For once in my life, I have no idea what I should say."

"Oh darling," Diana said sympathetically, "Don't look so distressed. You're an amazing writer, you'll figure something out, you're an expert at writing that kind of dialogue."

Anne shrugged, "I've just realised that I can't really say what I write in my stories. As much as I enjoy writing and reading that sort of thing, it would sound absolutely ridiculous aloud."

The two girls had been so focused on the issue at hand that neither the knock at the door nor Fred inviting in the guest. Diana noticed Anne blanch and looked up to see Gilbert chatting with Fred in the hallway.

"I can't do it," Anne whispered frantically, "I'm so nervous that I feel as if I'm going to be sick." she put her head in her hands, "What if do end up being ill? I'll never be able to look him in the eye again!"

"He's going to be a doctor," Diana said, trying to lighten the mood, "It'll be some good practice."

Anne looked at her friend, "Really Diana, jokes?"

The two men came into the room and Anne's mouth felt dry and her heart pounded. Is this what Gilbert had experienced in the orchard?

"Hello Anne," Gilbert said. Seeing the look on Anne's face, he grew concerned, "Are you okay?"

* * *

As usual, Gilbert had managed to put her at ease and, soon enough, her churning stomach devolved into butterflies. As they walked along the road, Gilbert asked, "So how is everyone at Green Gables today?"

Anne then launched into recounting the previous night's and that morning's bizarre behaviours and events. The urge to laugh built up in Gilbert, becoming harder and harder with each passionate re-enactment of everyone's behaviour. Eventually, she burst out, "I just feel as if the answer is staring at me right in the face." she looked at him earnestly, "You understand my meaning, don't you?"

Having to disguise a laugh as a cough, Gilbert managed to compose himself before replying, "I understand completely. Sometimes the most obvious is the hardest to realise."

"Exactly!" The two carried on strolling in companionable silence, simply enjoying each other's presence. "So where are we going?" Anne piped up, "You never mentioned."

"I thought today would be a nice day to go for a wander in Hester Grey's Garden" Gilbert replied breezily, his face remaining an easy going facade, whilst his pulse and mind were anything but calm.

Anne smiled, "Today is the perfect day to go there."

As they approached the forest, Anne repeated to herself, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

* * *

Okay, okay, I lied. I'm sorry but you'll have to wait for another chapter.

Also, I apologise for how extremely short the chapter is, I've had some serious writer's block recently. Hopefully thi'll keep you going for goodness know how long


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